Growing up, we still grappled with what Love truly means. It seams everyone experiences love differently. What if. Again what if what we believe love to be isn’t what love truly is?
Love isn’t,
1. JEALOUSY
A friend once told me; “my boyfriend is very jealous. He is jealous because he loves me.” Jealousy isn’t a sign of love. We mistakenly think people who are jealous in relationship truly love their partner and are jealous because they don’t want to lose them. Far from it. Jealousy is a sign low self - esteem than is about love. Jealousy thrives where self-confidence is low. To say “Jealousy is love” is to try to find an excuse for shortcomings.
2. UNCONDITIONAL
When people try to categorize Love into “Conditional” and “Unconditional” it makes me a little bit uncomfortable. I’m yet to meet a person who loves another based on no condition at all. Love is conditional. Yeah, we say true love shouldn’t be based on material or cosmetic reasons. That’s understandable but it doesn’t mean love is unconditional.
People will love you because you treat them right. If today you treat them right and tomorrow you start treating them with no respect and dignity, you’ve lost the conditions on which they loved you in the first place. That’s why people leave when the attitudes of others they love turn out worse.
Some will say, “I love you for who you are not for any other reasons.” Loving someone for who they are is even a condition. If someday they lose who they are and become worse than you anticipated, you’ll walk away.
Even the love of a mother is conditional. If you make several attempts to take your mother’s life, do you think she’ll still love you? Love is conditional. The condition might not be cosmetic, but it’s still a condition anyway.
3. HURTING
Love hurts. Love scars. Love wounds and marks any heart not tough or strong enough to take a lot of pains, hmmm take a lot of pain.
Not all love. Love is love. Hurt is hurt. The two are different. Wounds, pains, heartbreak are not love. They are called suffering. There are times people we are in love with cause us pain. Their attitude towards us might us some hurts but the hurting part is not what love is. It has a name. The name is hurt and not love.
If you are in a relationship that gives you a lot hurt and pain than love, you don’t have to be confused about it. You don’t have to think you are suffering for love. Nope! You are suffering for the sake of suffering not love. If it’s hurts, have the courage to walk away. Love shouldn’t hurt you.
Join the WhatsApp General News Platform
4. SEX
The sex was awesome. He is the only one who has ever made me feel this way. Hmmm, it must be love. Dear wake up from your slumber. What you had with him is sex. Sex is a human need. It’s a drive that isn’t necessarily attached to our emotions like love. You can have sex today and it’s so bad that you don’t want to even see the other person again. Sometimes after getting the gratification you seek out of sex, it suddenly dawns on you that you’ve done a mistake or your curiosity has landed you in the wrong corner. Sex can happen out of curiosity or the need to experiment. Some people give sex just to feel wanted. Love is love. Sex is sex. At some point the two intersect. But in actual sense, the two runs parallel to each other.
5. PROFILE PICTURE
This is the new craze. It’s the new yardstick for measuring love or testing the temperature of love between lovers. “He used my picture as his Facebook profile picture. He used the picture he took of me yesterday as his WhatsApp display photo. He must have so much love for me to be able to do that.”
When I was dating my girlfriend back in college, she used to question me on why the wallpaper of my phone isn’t her photo. She fought me a lot of times about that. I remember she didn’t talk to me for a whole two days because of this reason. I’m at a loss why some people see this as a sign of love.
Well someone told me, “if you love her, you should not show her to the world.” Her photo on your DP is another way of showing her to the world. The question is that will you be there he’s answering the question “who’s that on your profile picture” to his friends.?
Love is more than you in a profile picture.
Love is love.
Please Share on your social media and leave a comment below.
If someone is jealous the person really loves you it’s not about low self esteem ..the person is scared to loose you
ReplyDeleteJealousy leads to a lot of things.
DeleteOut of jealousy, some one can kill. Do you call that one to Love.???